I know that tomorrow is the first day of next week. Next week is the start of my real nursing program. I will graduate five semesters from tomorrow. There is a flutter in my stomach, or is it my heart? that is deeper and slightly more tangible than the adrenaline flutter I feel every time I walk into a new job, school semester, doctor's office, first harp lesson, etc. It's more real because it's big, it's important, perhaps one of the few all important life-decisions I will make in life. I have been so sure of myself in my career decision for over a year now, but lately there has been a growing fear in the back of my mind... is this what I really want to do? If it isn't, what in the world do I do? All this time, all this money, all this effort? What happens if I decide not to turn the corner, but to keep walking straight?

Impulsive conclusion: Catch myself a millionare. Hope there's one that likes red-heads.

 

I am memorizing Elizabeth Barret Browning's "How do I Love Thee?" I am such a nerdy loser, and I don't even get that great grades, or even stomach ulcers from stressing myself out with academic achievement. What's up with that?! An under-achieving nerd... the worst kind. They do nothing but look and act nerdy, but don't actually serve any function in society, unlike their cousins, the over-achieving nerds, who send people to the moon and have been known to spend their whole lives studying the life cycle of a rare breed of Amazonian fire ant. However, the under-achieving nerds are kind of like glass eyeballs, you can't see out of one but from a distance it sure looks like you can. These are the people that regularly attend Xena and Star Trek conventions dressed as characters, and the people that fashion police frequently use as examples of what not to wear. I admit I have a penchant for Sci-fi ( I savoured a late-night showing of Planet of the Apes last night, the original with Charleton Heston, and that was after two hour-long episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation), and I have regular debates/informative sessions with my father and brother about little known historical facts and who would we bump off among the siblings first if we were a real royal family. That reminds me, dangit, I missed that special on King Tutankhamun that was supposed to be on the history channel tonight. I think all those romance movies they make about lonely weird people were based off of people exactly like me. Well... so be it.

On second thought, anyone know a good therapist?

oh i miss you sarah. i love your nerdiness. hey i found a site that has six seasons of xena:
http://www.tv-links.co.uk/
happy nerding:)

I was so just talking about that poem this week! I love it so very much! Isn't it wonderful?! Some friend tried to argue that it'd been made into a country song, and I exploded back that it was an impossible desecration of such a beautiful poem. But alas, a song had simply stolen the first, oft-used line. I was relieved. :)